Green pastures golden wheat fields

Sunlight bright lighting up the sky

Golden rays stream down my sullen face

The ground beneath my body solid hard

My Hands gently caressing the green emerald grass.

Heart full of fear, terror

In my skin, I have never felt safe.

In this time and space, I am a vortex of self-hate

My skin feels swollen and bruised no longer able to deal with my horrific former child abuse.

The syringe I have prepared is in my in my willing laughing hand

I’ve come here to die to say my final farewell

Rubber banding tight against my arm, I can’t wait for the sweet caress of my devil may care. I’ve had enough of feeling trapped like a lab rat about to be deconstructed by men in white happiness

I feel the jab my heart races down a spiraling path. Heat and desire knock me to my blackness.  I take off my shirt undo my pants, grass tickling my back. I wrap my hands around my manhood. I want this last breath to be orgasmic

Sweating feverishly stroking, my head swelling with red heat madness,  precum sliding down my purple shaft. I breathe heavily and I feel my heart pounding in my head and chest. It won’t be long until I’m blasting into emptiness.

As the white-hot volcanic eruption consumes my soul, sweet hot lava begins to flow across my naked torso. I feel my breathtaking on a choke hold.

I let out a scream of pleasure and panic for I know this is my last breath to ever behold.

A smile begins to creep across my face as I realize my task has been accomplished.  I feel such proudness.

Looking down I see my lifeless body.  I feel happiness at last.  No more tears of sorrow and of a past better left unpacked.  No more wanting to walk out of the pain-stricken flesh. I am free at last